Well, it’s been a while. Still watching film noir and basking in the backyard. Still brewing flower petals and charming fragrance bottles. I always come back to the drawing board, asking of myself to reflect on how I’ve come to where I am. I feel accomplished and, of course, feminine.
Lately, I’m pondering the ways I can help others, essentially, the world around me… Thinking over the knowledge and care I have to serve in this lifetime. My North Node is in Virgo, conjunct with my Lilith… attesting to my soul desires around sensuality. It is no wonder I took my time in becoming one with the feminine sexuality I uniquely possess, my heart desires I master this trait. As I am coming to terms with my feminine nature, I fall immensely in love with myself and the experience I manifest. The security I find in oneness, displays the fall to my vulnerability and as I let my true self shine I mount in my acts of passion and the release of my inner rage.
I love feminine rage, most importantly, I am turned on by the raw power enveloped in our bodies.
My Ascendant sign is conjunct with the two, stimulating my provocative and magnetic appearance. I invite experiences which heighten my deeper rage and raw passion. I’m invited to the party I gather for myself, to celebrate myself, and seduce myself.
Throughout the week, beginning this new lunar cycle, my natal Venus will be in opposition with the transiting planets as they progress through my fifth house, under Aquarius. Mercury and Saturn both finding their place to oppose my relational and magnetic Leo Venus. Mercury opposing my Venus brings to light financial standards, inspiring me to reevaluate my wealth outlets and financial agreements. I’ve been saving my money, thriving off the pure magic of the universe and of course, my labor. Though I know money flows mostly when I am not physically working, money is, in fact, abundant to me. I create wealth passively. Likely, I will find a loss item or communicate with past relationships. There may be a delay in expected money, unexpected cost and unwanted hiccups. In this period, I settle down and take it easy. Remembering not to strain my brain with overactive thoughts, let my mind do what it does best. Sit in its power.
With transit Saturn in opposition to my natal Venus, I may find truths to reveal themselves within my relationships. Friendships and partners lacking true substance will subside before my very eyes, if it does not have passion, I don’t want it. I will be able to see the deficiencies in affection and energy from those around me. My awareness for emotional needs is heightened. A time to study my attachment styles and how it reflected in the relationships I am currently building or holding. Buying power is diminished, wealth is temporarily on hold… A lesson to balance desires and demands, as I budget my spending while maintaining important commitments in my life.
Transit Saturn Opposition Venus
“This year will bring difficult challenges to personal and professional relationships, as you feel a great need to re-evaluate how you relate to other people and will tend to analyze every detail in your interactions. This period will often represent a turning point in relationships, when problems that have been ignored seem to surface and must be dealt with. This will be especially difficult in partnerships, but may also affect your dealings with clients or customers. There’s a great need for balance in your relationships and both parties need to be responsible, and if you’ve been more giving than your partner you’ll demand that they pull their weight. If you haven’t been handling your responsibilities adequately, your partner may become more critical and demanding; if the partnership is no longer functional, it will likely end. This is a difficult process of re-evaluation and you’re not likely to have much fun, but the balance you achieve will make your future relationships more fulfilling. You may experience more financial difficulty as past habits come to fruition and if you haven’t been handling your finances in a responsible manner, you may experience losses or setbacks. Responsibilities will increase and money slows down, and it’s important to be conservative with your resources and adhere to your budget. Your creative flow may seem blocked this year, but you can use this time to improve your talents or work on the more practical aspects of your projects. You can give form to your ideas and build a solid structure to support more creative growth when this cycle is over.”
La Cena, 1988, Belkis Ayón at El Museo del Barrio Courtesy of Sarah Cascone
Looking past our daily horoscope, past our birth charts, past the numbers, past the sense of time and into the deep space which all carries our sacred geometry….
Look around yourself and ask those dramatic questions. Who can you trust? Who is you’re favourite person? Who are you to one another?
Do you have faith in humanity?
How you have faith in humanity can show how empathetic you are. It can be a vulnerable faith, trusting in everyone.
It defines the evolution of consciousness. Living in trust at a grateful flow to stand strong against forces; war, wages & dominion. Paying attention to your freedom and where it takes you. Taking the time each day to query yourself, consider whoyour goals revolve around and howthey can include your loved ones, neighbors, and allies.
I’ve come to enjoy sidereal astrology as it’s acclaimed to symbolize our place, purpose, and destiny in society- essentially departing from the individual focus found in tropical astrology. The verdic chart can characterize your role in upgrading our conscious plane & how you will communication among outer planes. Possibly your sense of the Mer Ka Ba?
Screen cap from A Dream of Youth (青春夢)
By the fifth dimension we are able to interpret truth & love, the present arena. As we graduate the realm, we strengthen our hearts with the collective practice of self love. Proving the connection to your divinity through meditation and immersing yourself in community will allow this to emerge. Our energy centers, which are often called chakras, embody the holist of oneness. The centers starting from our throat upward, relish in our divine self. As we ground ourself into the solar plexus center and below, energy eases in transfer to and fro humanity and the self. Is this word vomit or do you follow?
Ascension or inner development then leads to the accepting the divine inner-connectedness, realizing you’re no different from your worst enemy. Unlearning societal standards and patriarchal motives, will make room to learn the lessons which belong to you. A childlike curiosity can return, begin by interpreting eternal knowledge as your own. Abandoning the divisions of wisdom will begin to make the most sense.
Intuitive sparks can no longer be ignored or avoided, energies will need to be protected. Magic will blossom all around as we shaken the feminine awareness. It is the Great Dance and they say all happenings in the universe don’t go on without an onlooker. Welcome to the sixth dimension.
The seventh dimension manifests harmony. The eighth unleashes the power of infinity. The ninth “an instantaneous entanglement of self”. Ten is the earthly integration of our body. Eleventh is spirit & pure energy. The twelfth dimension is universal consciousness.
They say to reach the truest state of abundance you must look past your material goals and through the state in which you seek. If you aspire for financial wealth, it is freedom you are pursuing. If you seek a fantastic career, it is life purpose you hope to find. Essentially, the interconnectedness of our stars, evolution, and conscious plane bring us to a fortification in which mothers all. In return, we may vow gratitude and accept the multitudes and stakes.
Sensual Feminine by ALIX (IG@acutegulp)
Let’s get into controversy.
The female reproductive system, Earth’s main channel for life, is perfected by natural design. Across all species, the female vulva, uterus, yoni system, is all similar in its blueprint for perfect functioning. Meanwhile, the male reproductive system is continuously evolving, as well as our symposium bodies. It is an earthly journey with roots that have been severed from our memories.
From the female XX chromosome springs all other life forms, the male XY chromosome is essentially just a mutant of the XX origin, missing just a little tick. During early pregnancy the fetus begins as female before growing into her final form which may just be male or non-binary.
Similarly, the female body holds the capability to duplicate its genes autonomously, this is called parthenogenesis. Before the creation of male, there already exist the Female, who was not limited to any particular form. We find scholarly timelines which prove female origin throughout human biology, spiritual practice and mythology. The origins of gods came from stories and legends coined after original Goddess tales. Religious and warlike blood rituals branched from the original blood ceremonies for the collective women menstruation.
The evolution into a sexually diverse population came from the womb of woman and correlates finely with the evolution of cultural embracing. Our race into this massive expansion embodies the spirit and soul of divinity.
In the modern manifestation of reproduction, specific sperms are chosen and partnered by the egg. The alluring chemoattractants released by the egg repel certain sperm cells while pulling in others. The factors of elimination can vary. The heart and soul of the yoni has the power of divine selection.
Though the modern silhouettes of duality commonly present a hierarch of God influence, the feminine prowess has always retained. Before the male dominant myths were created there exist an inclusive devotion for the Goddess. From Goddess came Maidens, Crones, Gods, and all other Divine Beings. The goddess takes many forms. Some names to summon her are Cerridwen, Lilith, Kali, Bast, Isis, Persephone, Aphrodite, Ohsun, Afrekete, Oceana, Gaia, Ix Chel, Maya, Nut, Amaterasu… the list never ends. It can go on forever, because Goddess has existed forever.
She is the presence of God; feminine, relational, experiential energy… We call her Goddess.
Like our ancient Queen of Somalia, Araweelo, the mother of three fold sisterhood, we posses inherit multitudes. These are cycles present through our menstruation, the lunar year, vegetation keep, animal habitation and so on. The more you study, greater the connections you will discover. The cycles which take on our evolution bring to light the matter of non-duality.
The three fold sisterhood captures the maiden, the mother & the crone. The maiden is fertile and powerful, she upholds both our dark & solar mind. Patriarchal standard created a dual division between our solar and dark energy. Your initiation into the mother of all-becoming, however, will take you crossing between these dual sides to find a state of matrimony. The first hetero marriage should begin within your self.
Liza Minnelli
Mother Nature is the ultimate muse. The fastest train was designed after the anatomy of the worlds fastest bird. Similarly, our phones imitate the receptive ingenious of the human mind. They said “our phones are listening to us” when in reality they receive notification of every single person, place or thing you experience throughout the day. Furthermore, the phones signals notification to neighboring phones which includes all the data absorbed through the day. You become who you spend most your time with, your phone becomes the phone which collects most. And as my mother loved to say, if you hang with shit you’ll start smelling like shit. Your surrounding environment is everything.
Further into this curiosity, we find the brains can be entangled and interact non locally. Whether divided by physical or mental separation, the mind receives and reacts to the same experience of non local minds. Your brain is by nature, empathetic. The simultaneously awareness for pain and suffering is one of the most potent expressions to be shared among human mind. For this reason I become livid when I am told the rich can’t understand the pain, madness, and oppression inflicted on the poor. No one can tell me the rich man’s brain does not receive the psychic injury on seven hundred million people. It is crippling.
Humans are made seventy percent of water, the planet too, is made seventy percent of water. This means we are water beings on a water planet. Water which sources from deep inner space, creates all that we know.
The divine female is not natural, she is a spiritual element. Similar to Kali in her blackness, a quality beyond all aspects of nature, she is both life & death.
The female is water which translates from the spiritual to create the physical. Life enters the women’s womb as water, through her power of alchemy, she is divine and becomes the she force between two elements, creating life and death once again.
When you look into your reflection, do you see the chord connecting you with roots of the ancestral realm. Portals allow us to connect…. The smoke in the mirror
You are responsible for your feelings. You cannot put them on others.
As Marilyn Frye puts it, to say a straight man is heterosexual is only saying he engages in sex with females. Almost all of which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for men. The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom they imitate, idolize & form profound attachments to, from who they are willing to teach and from who they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, reverence, and love they desire… those are overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity, or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women they want devotion, service, and sex. Straight men are heterosexual and homoerotic.
This is the cultural expectation the patriarchy establish.
I want to write a letter to every masculine muscle I know and plead, if you love me will you move to a city and build the city that will have all the treasure and abundance we all will ever need. It’s going to be a Great Gatsby party which never ends. The builders get free entry to all the high demanded events.
Imagine, she’s running down the hill gaining pace with each step, shifting weight onto her toes. Hoping to make the train, familiar figures lead the way down the hill, into the rabbit hole. Her eyes sting in moisture with no mind where to go, their steps echo with confidence. They are stars walking- dilating in the dark.
The world becomes too much. This pressure destined to combust. Big theory unraveling in your own way. Doesn’t help mercury is in retrograde.
I imagine everyday as a sacrificial ceremony, shedding old skin, seeking new shells, démarche. Aligned across in perfect symmetry. Perfectly momentary.
Washing the energy of each day under the steam and silk of waters flow. The evening seems to always have a radiant glow which takes me away, yet closer into myself.
I read the word perfect is Latin for “perficere” which means to be “complete.” I realized ascension doesn’t equate to some uplifting movement, but a deep passage to travel inwardly.
Our consciousness has been split in two.
“Honey, we built Chernobyl or: A cigar-shaped shelter” Group show Krakow, 2019
I consider Spirit an idea, an idea of animals, an idea of space, an idea of man as perfection in itself. I consider Spirit to be Goddess, she who is all-encompassing and all-creating. The original kind.
Within ether lies a questionable sight, what comes first?
The female reproductive system is nearly perfected and symmetrical throughout universal species. The y chromosome which creates male is a broken piece from the original x chromosome which is perfected by women. Parthenogenesis has always existed. Yet, she has gifted the world more which is he. He can embody her too, source.
Creating a war between choosing two sides, which neither perfectly define you. Are you all-creating? Do you continue to spiral into divine being, unfolding novel pieces of yourself each day? Imagination unfolds itself upon reality in catalytic ways.
The rewiring of the brain, adopting the child of habits, revisions internal processes neuroplastic. The brain’s ability to organize and adapt to your environment, behavior, and internal experiences.
In a universe of probability & possibility.
The newborn’s brain is constantly undergoing neuroplasticity, it is more plastic & capable than ever. The childish brain defies all matter of desire & insist on the idea that what we want is already ours by due right. There is no false sense of control over the situation, only gratification.
The Beginning of Life, 1900 Frantisek Kupka
Neuroplasticity gives to the expansion of neuro-learning, memory effectiveness. As the brain matures he generates reliable responses based on the health of the heart, she holds the capacity to which life may unfold before you.
You may become selective, allowing only room and face to one, alter this. It becomes too easy for the mature mind to turn off itself power of neuroplasticity.
Making permanent changes only warrant to rare circumstance…. Nonetheless, plasticity occurs throughout your whole life.
Feeling safe in the darkness, accompanied and at home within yourself. Seeing and knowing gives me the will to shape reality in my unique and magical way.
Feeling safe in the darkness, listening to Serpentwithfeet. Appreciating the divine masculinity; the poet, the healer, the vulnerable one, the nurturing one, and the warrior.
Atonement, reparation toward the divine remedy, in tune with Divine Intelligence,
I release all blockages standings between me and my destiny.
I cannot lose what does not belong to me.
The tide of destiny has turned and everything comes my way.
If you enjoy the way these affirmations make you feel write them down, screenshot them, or visit my site for backgrounds.
Carry it on…
Say it aloud, anytime it comes to mind. See the light you bring by living & speaking the truth. What belongs to you will find you in perfect timing and satisfaction. Let us activate the force, invite the love and align with the divine plan.
I trust my intuition now more than ever and when I have a vision I prepare for the universal unfolding. It’s astounding to perceive through the all seeing eye and recognizing you breath in destiny.
I’ve become more critical in knowing a higher state of being involves adopting conscious activity and passivity. We are the generation of over stimulation and it is blinding to the eye.
Everyday we flow through life choosing the forces we wish to activate and passivate. I believe it’s a collective responsibility to flow consciously with love. There is a stark difference between those who do and do not and I will let it be known.
I think its interesting Cecil Beaton has an instagram, which may or may not just be public archival vomit. I also think it’s interesting Playboy is able to post blatant and beautiful nudity, yet the average user may lose access to their own data if they were to post similar, private or not. It’s no surprise we are being surveyed amidst our digital experiences, yet it is astounding to see our stories be censored and removed.
These are just some thoughts, my daily spit.
They are also continuous suspicions which revisit my conscious mind whenever I scroll through any social media app. I wonder what is my data really worth?
Moving on, I read recently the soul is the subconscious mind. I have published about the importance of inner standing your subconscious & how we can tap into it.
Here, I want to talk about developing habits which essentially equates to the appearances of the subconscious mind.
Lately I’ve been inspired by the idea of listening to music with intent, filtering the words I allow in my space. Imagine only listening to music which genuinely represent who you are. Lyricism, rhythmic movement, longevity.. some of the components which parallel perfectly to your many moods and impressions. I’ve been using the internet with better intent, but that is relative.
I am waking up early- mostly because I have to pee, yet to my surprise, I stay up. My newest habit includes making my bed immediately upon rising. It’s a constant reminder to not get back in bed. Personally, I find the aesthetic pleasing and refuse to disrupt.
As I open myself to the world and explore the house I’m forced to walk around the mess from an evening before. I clean, organize my thoughts, and track my responsibilities for the day, followed by my goals and desires. Since I recognize I am a “How” person I try to ask myself questions which begin with “What.”
What can I do today to feel successful?
What is inspiring me to feel this way?
I carry on, occasionally in the mental unknown. I’m unafraid of time passing and I allow myself to move slow if necessary.
I pay attention to the lyrics singing in my head. If I do not relate, I change them. I will sing it myself.
Agate Stone found on Tumblr
I’ve been staying up to date on current events. I understand global catastrophe and environmental concern.
I was recommended to watch the documentary Seaspiracy which deems a fascinating storyline where the average consumer attempts to correct his lifestyle to help the marine life he loves so dearly. Only to find many alternative “health choices” are dead-end consumer fads.
What I mean by this, he found “healthy and conscious” choices were monetarily connected to the same companies who enact the depletion of the natural marine ecology. The union seemed a threatening intent which profits most food markets.
In conclusion, it is fair to say the average person’s decision to support super markets, grocery stores, and nonlocal farming are creating the demand which is destroying our ecosystem.
This was not news for me, however, the disappoint in our economic design is always refreshing. Inspiring the acceleration of a life quest I have always pursue. The next day I ignored my budget and went to a local nursery to finish the second half of my garden. I was growing green & red onions, tomatoes, and garlic. Now I am also growing rosemary, parsley, cucumber, and more. I waited til Sunday to visit my local farmer’s market and I try not to waste a goddamn thing. Scraps go to the freezer for broth or steams, certain scraps are also used to regrow. It’s important to do research, but let me tell you, green onions are the easiest thing to regrow. Stop buying green onions and grow them instead!
A mentor of mine brought to light her experience watching Seaspiracy and vowed to end her consumption of sea creatures. This began the conversation…
Changing where and how we shop is not enough. Monsanto and leading agricultural companies have created a machine of our consumption. Consequently, the planet is depleted of natural nutrients. The soil composition is being ruined to nothing, barren parent soil sow barren produce.
The ecosystem of farming is quite literally falling apart. Farmers across the world are protesting against companies which sustain them, taking the risk many of us could never imagine. I was recently recommended a youtube documentary “Back to Eden,” though I have yet to check it out, I was told it offers education on natural processes and how to replenish the soil and land.
Making room for new habits requires prioritizing how and why you get through the day, eventually leading to discover what you will do and what you desire. I’m discovering my how and why while exploring my what, sometimes I ask myself for who am I doing this?
Education is a personal responsibility and incentive to unlock abundance in the material world. Through education we can begin aligning your actions with your virtue.
Clara Aker Benjamin for Panache Magazine
Lately, I’ve been reading headlines reminding us all of the police state we have inherited. Everyday, I am reminded who the police state impacts the most and how the community I live in divides their lines.
I’ve been contemplating.
While keeping our head up, we can discuss and identify the evil forces inhabiting our “democracy.” In the realization of an evil, we must simultaneously discuss and identify the benevolent force we wish to embrace. Policing of behaviors, words, actions… Imprisoning the mind, body, and soul… Engineering beyond necessity… Advocating for passivity…. The war is on the Intellect. I believe Elon Musk is an idol for the Evil. Power and dominion are a constant theme or end goal for evil minded individuals. Money is not power, abandon this illusion. I predict more power will come with skills whether they be physical, mental, or spiritual… they will need to be communal.
Letting go of the idea that we need money. Letting go of a world designed to work in money’s best interest. Community can create a channel of positive exchange and interest for money to flow generously through. The rise of evil powers means we must present equally creative and strategic forces of good.
Evil versus good, what is passive and active? Activating goodness guided by love. I’m trying to understand the language of this mind. I could use some help.
Do you ever wonder about your second half? Do you imagine them as someone you’ve never met before or maybe something you never seen before? Is it dead or alive?
I wonder what it is that defines substance. There will be light, but in the absence of light? Darkness can be defined faithfully as the collection of all colour, similar to its counterpart, Light. However, in the understanding of darkness we tend to detonate an act of absence or eradication. Yet, the sustenance of dark matter breeds a unique creation of non-lateral function. So there is light and there is dark, within each lie a universe of art.
The universal mind also functions through channels which are essentially parted in two halves of distinctions and responsibility. Both sacred, one half is understood as the elegant and enduring potency of nature. Embodied by the rich earth & unpredictable waters, the necessities for nourished life flow beyond the control of other elements. Sacred halves reflecting the feminine counterparts include Yin, Shakti, Shekhinah, & Eros.
The Sacred Feminine is a dual force playing part in the creation of all living and mystical things. The period is coming where lesson with show an art of appreciating and reproducing the genetics of the Great Mother through our mind and bodies. As the Age of Aquarius dawns upon consciousness, our Masculine influence will captivate the fixed eye. Paying respect to the Divine Masculine, we can entrance our critical eye toward identifying the hyperpresence of energy and handling rebalance. As a responsibility, we can master the art creating a consistent regeneration of insight and light of transcendence.
According to the true Vedic calendar, our cycle is renewed by late April and as I am writing this from January we remain near the end of our current rhythm, bring the beat to and end. Within the time span, across all degrees our lunar pool phase out in a timely manner echoed within each body of water, especially our feminine vessels. With exquisite demonstration, women express the periodic regeneration of life with their very bodies. This is the menstrual cycle. Through each feminine craft, lie sacred scribes of truth and progression. Collectively, sanctifying one’s yoni beat will synchronize all the life around us and bring a flow of prowess to femininehood.
As a feminine vessel we have the responsibility to understand the language and signals which our body speak in. Unique messages pass through our physical and metaphysical bodies. All matter has its language. You can check out a blog post where I talk in depth about the menstrual cycle & caring of our hormonal systems. Overtime, I anticipate touching on this topic as it is essential to purifying the source of menstrual pulse from external pollutants.
Something I don’t touch on in my past post are the side effects of birth control in regards to tracking lunar synchronicity. Ultimately, the use of medical contraceptives sever the feminine vessel from its metaphysical source. Though your cycle develops a schedule, the natural connection between lunar and menstrual rhythms are inebriated by dosage and injection. Consequentially, the vessel falls under the control of medicine and dismembers you from our lunar pool. Though this does not keep you from connecting with the cycles of the moon, it does entails the unknowing of one’s own body language and forbidding the knowledge of understanding your unique cycle.
For those who use natural contraceptives, which I will discuss in a future post, can find their periods fall under the red moon or white moon. You can read more about this here. Identifying where your individual cycle falls and whether or not is stays in routine each month is crucial to understanding the language in which your body expresses itself. Similar to the patterns and sacred geometry we find in nature, our body has natural patterns which detail the workings of each phase. These patterns can be noted by centralized aches, blood density, dreams, visions and so on. Comprehending the narrative of our bodies will enchant our conscious with the intention and will of our life passage. This is a style and method of alignment. We tune our bodies in motion with the earth and space, we become connected, one.
The age of Aquarius embraces the masculine persistence we all behold which decodes a method of rational infrastructure. However, simultaneously our feminine mind will be working to dismantle the structures of oppression as it prepares for an era of reparation to nurture the future of mankind. The influence of our divine feminine will shift from subtle to structured, replacing the system which corrupted our suffrage. I once had a women tell me us humans need a hierarchy to survive. This will no longer be true as we shed the hope for false security and comfort. Now, we will comfort one another as we lay the truth down before us. Mastering the art of nurturing love and evolving mass light work will become a theme for the new age.
They say a maze is similar to the mind revisiting past memories, where beginning (question) and end (answer) cannot be found but loss is felt, nonetheless. The labyrinth is comprised of one, branch-less direction, which eventually leads to its single core. From an aerial point of view, the construction can appear simple, but internally, it may be frightening as a maze. In the mythical realm, the labyrinth has symbolized the girl coming to age and once David Bowie enters the picture, the labyrinth becomes a battle of young purity… modern day mysticism.
Girl caught in an oubliette doesn’t sound like a girl at all, but more so a twenty-year old who can’t remember years four to eight. The labyrinth is a sacred space where one can find path to the heart, vulnerable, yet supporting the entire essence. It becomes home to the ultimate experience. When does it take for young eyes to understand they’re bounded structures and how can they defy them? Theatrically, one will find the skeleton key and understand their journey to be reflective. Then, a nourished soul can reemerge.
To finally leave the center, where vulnerability and strength give sense of peace. Take that peace and return to where you left, notice how smallest details seem to change. Enter back into the world and elevate your presence, remove the limitations inherited to you and discover your own.
The eternal owl of wisdom always watching over returns to his perch position, from a bedside window looking into the ocean soul. He awaits for the time to come once again, where we are ready to engage in labyrinth.
In August, I decided it was time for me to make a change. As I prepared myself for what I believed to be a transformative shift I began to understand the precedent to active quantum jumping.
Have you ever performed a quantum leap with shot glasses and tequila?
It was the strike before mass eruption to fire. I had no idea what I was doing and especially, no brain for where I planned to go. That wasn’t important. What mattered at this point was who I wanted to be and how I intended to do so.
What is the mindset in which focuses on what needs to be rid of? How is the realization when you shift away from this mindset?
I’m starting to think it feels like a breakup.
I began believing in my dreams. I would actually wake up and know what was going to happen in my future. This ultimate sense of confidence, focusing on small details; I determined my desires would come to life in a warm and fruitful environment. Luckily, I anticipated this moment and saved up for the past year to stabilize the decision I would finally make. I packed my things and moved 500 miles away from everything I know and love.
As my dreams fell silent and it became persistently difficult to imagine myself living my greatest desires I had to insist on the reasoning and consequences of desire itself. I have to gamble with trivia, failure, and success to have the wisdom to recognize a dreamscape reality, I would have to face the pain of growing once again.
Well, I started by preparing for the worst. I sought out as an individual, convinced I would have to experience the shift alone. I advertised my ambitions in hope to create a network of support along the way, really it was a sense of commitment. I refused to go back on my word. Once the cards are on the board, I roll with them.
It will always shock me the way things work. Mass consciousness pumps life through the veins of our planet, I could only imagine what is going on beyond this physical realm. Naturally, the energy I was stirring combusted with flavor and opportunity. Life blossomed from the pavement, dirt never seemed so unnecessary. Within a couple of months I was far from alone in this journey. Across the mountains and desert I had everything I needed.
Up until this final moment, I couldn’t help but feel betrayal in the severing from my old life. Westerns love to use the term, co-dependent, but I know it’s just a human thing. Immense centers of love are hard to let go, but not impossible. Goodbyes have always been hard for me, but here I am now. No where to be found.
Where did I go, you ask. I was here all along. Keeping myself from the world til I was ready to express myself as I am destined to be.
Recently, I dawned on the memory of my time as a teen. Between the commotion & senseless rebellion, I identified a familiar notion there to now. Though I was talkative enough to be labeled disruptive, I was selective with who I exchanged my energy. More than often, I wouldn’t say much & rather kept to myself.
Well, I realized I was overly sensitive when it came to my voice, making it difficult to speak my mind. Whether it was the common, childhood conditioning to be quiet or my young intolerance for modern dialogue, I wasn’t interested in what many had to say. However, it’s a specific memory in which dawned the realization of predetermined energy deficiency, specifically with my throat chakra.
I was in a program which congregated one class of students to be held everyday, each semester, all four years. Meaning I saw the same thirty people every single day, forcing us all to grow a close bond. As usual, we had a daily welcome activity to begin the class. On this day, we stated our foreseeable goals. The usual was expected; go to college, begin training, get hired and so on. Out of curiosity, I searched my mind in hope to find a genuine goal off hand. Finally, I thought of something I always wanted to do, whistle.
When it came to be my turn to speak, I gave them the truth. I hoped one day I would whistle and while it was funny, I felt I done some right in being honest. I alway wanted to whistle, but for some weird reason couldn’t.
Well, here I am an un-sexed, angststar teen who would wear some vintage hippy dress one day and all black with black make-up the next. As an academic, the little thang had full concern going somewhere grand with her life, but no idea where her passion could lay. Technically, I was an art student, but to a low-income family who forced me to believe art an impossible career. Actually, my parents told me there was no such thing- art was only to be done on the side after one works hard enough to relax.
In those same years as a student, I carefully studied eastern medicine and found a liking to chakra healing, meditation & so on. It’s safe to say, I was not above my teenfused emotions. I was blind to many of my own flaws (like we all are) and consequently, I let specific chakras grow deficient. Meanwhile, I would sneak out of class to perform chakra healing meditations on my friends.
Fast forward to today where I can no longer meditate past ten minutes.
So today I rise with my love by my side and after they’re gone I have the house to myself and while I massage my face and perform my stretches I begin to sing and sure enough, I am whistling! I think, “This can’t be true!” I whistled even louder, for the first time ever. I actually fucking whistled.
It almost seems too good to be true. I will try again tomorrow. Wish me luck.
This is a sign I refuse to ignore. I am observing my trauma heal as my chakras overflow with endless energy. I am living in love & light, open to all the universe has to offer. I make pure joy & music with my existence.
There is no excuse when one begins living in alignment with their highest intentions, it just is. Now baby, we’re shooting for the stars.
Alas, is it cruel of me to put my blogging aside? Absolutely not, because now…
I have hundreds of more reasons to write, blog, and share.
To put things down, to make things known, to look into yourself and call it a home. To travel away from there, to face higher fear, to explore sunken shadows and swim back just in time. Safe to say, I feel fully equipped bringing my voice back here.
My intentions are mount and I am introducing myself to the feeling of abundance now that I learned to invest in myself and my dream. For once, I feel the controls in my grasp & I’m excited by the flight toward my destiny. While this sounds like a Self-Help Untether Your Soul kind of story, it is not. I simply found an idea I want to stick with, something I enjoy and I am excited to see it become bigger than myself. I see my path and I’m not dismissing it for a silly dream. It is mine as I created it with the help of my genius and my heart, it brings every (e)motion and transforms how I see myself.
So surprise, I am back. I am here and frankly, I’m everywhere. You can find me on youtube here.
You can find me on instagram here and on pinterest here.
I hope you find your way to my site and check out what I have to offer! Beyond my creative pursuits I make all-natural, beauty products such as vegan-friendly soaps, natural lotion bars, homemade aloe vera gel, herbed washes, and more.
I offer bundled goods, ideal for manifestation and divination craft.
Additionally, I sell clothes, accessories, and music on my Depop. Vintage and new goods are posted almost every week with a variety of gender-fluid gems!
Most importantly, I found my way back to blogging because I want to continue sharing my studies & experiences with the world on a variety of platforms. Eagerness to share has become a familiar feeling during the times of national violence and global pandemic. Positive information will further empower our hearts and mind.
I’m excited to share my creation and crafts with the world. Manifesting dreamful desires entails we let go of old habits and ideas. It means we say goodbye to people and places holding you down to lower vibration.
It means we face a loss.
Signs of manifestation include loss, something has left you, been destroyed, shattered before your eyes. This shuts the door of the past, clearing an old space for new construction. Hearing from an old friends or acquaintances or having someone new want to spend quality time with you is another sign your are manifesting a new way of life. This could be the universe sending a messenger to guide you toward this path.
Have no fear. Before flowers bloom they live in complete darkness, under standing the Earth. They rise up and eventually, they are the beauty of completion in Eden. Trial and error only with reason, during these times more than ever I pick the Failure card, but never do I shy away from the purpose. Be ruthless, courageous, and genuine.
Will you be apart of the Great Resignation?
Eniola Abioro & Fatou Jobe by Renell Medrano Elle U.S Magazine Oct. 2020
It’s not always easy picking yourself out from under the covers, some days I move slower than others. There’s nothing wrong when you have nothing to do, so I stretch and accidentally fell back to sleep.
Later on, I sprang up with urgency and went straight to work. I create and sell soap, today a new batch will be cooking (for more info on soaps check links below). Meanwhile I treated myself to a body mask and watched a man talk about spiritual awakening. I eat leftovers and allow myself the pleasure to snack on the dark chocolate covered bananas I save for dessert. White wine may or may not have been involved.
Later on, I made music with a friend.
Imagine spinning the wheel of fortune, abandon anticipation & invite hope as you wait to see where the wheel will land. Soon there will be opulence, happiness, abundance, and stability, but what do we do as we wait? We envelope ourselves in the hope we created, envisioning success and feeling those exact feelings we procure when prosperity comes our way.
Jupiter Beguiled by Juno on Mount Ida James Barry (b. Oct. 11, 1741 IRL)
Healing our Solar Plexus, tuning into one’s authenticity, recognizing the love we carry for ourselves, admiring our confidence. Understanding the respect we have for ourselves & others, practice believing in ourselves. Enjoying yellow foods such as pineapple, lemons, turmeric tea, butternut squash, and bananas. Embellishing our bodies with yellow clothing and accessories. Infusing our space and our energies with the oil of juniper, cedarwood, or cardamon. Decorating our space with crystals of citrine, amber, and tiger’s eye.
Artistically we will express our identity, analyze our power, coordinate our purpose, organize the work, take on the responsibility, and invigorate our motivation. Its difficult but together we can find peace, care for our immunity system naturally and consciously in the safety of our homes, practicing and developing habits to build a healthy digestion.
Moods & Moons 